Today's Lesson.

Awhile back, I drew up a list of some general guidelines for anyone who felt like calling into Expressway To Yr Skull with requests, because I got kind of tired of having to explain things like why I didn't really want to play Hatebreed on the show. One area that I feel is still being neglected is "Requesting Things That Are Musically Awesome & Fun To Say On The Radio", because let's face it - while I'm going to be very happy if you call in to request Unwound, it's not as much fun to say that I just played Unwound as it is to find an FCC-compliant way of saying that I just played something from Fuck CDs, We're the Mummies!.

Review my suggestions from last time:
Pissed Jeans. Whether or not "Pissed" in this context is technically FCC-approved can be debated, but I haven't been losing too much sleep over it.
Solar Anus. Japanese bands are particularly good at coming up with radio gold.

Now, the intermediate course:
Anything from Yo La Tengo's I Am Not Afraid of You & I Will Beat Your Ass album. This should be fairly obvious, because who doesn't enjoy telling people that you're going to beat their ass? Plus we love Yo La Tengo.
Palace Music - "You Have Cum In Your Hair & Your Dick Is Hanging Out". Unfortunately we can't get away with playing a Will Oldham song where he talks about fucking a mountain or something, but believe it or not, there is nary a trace of FCC no-no's in the actual content of this song & the song title provides amazing possibilities for dodging obscenity accusations.
Out Hud's Street Dad album, in general. Pretty much every song on this winner: "Dad, There's A Little Phrase Called Too Much Information", "The L Train Is A Swell Train & I Don't Want To Hear You Indies Complain", "My Two Nads (Dad Reprise)". Proof that the request in question doesn't have to include swears for it to qualify under these guidelines, although the swears definitely don't hurt.

That's just a sampling. Next time, we'll move on to the advanced course.

Total Request Live.

So Eric & I are now doing a show on Monday nights from 8 to 10pm called Expressway To Yr Skull. We enjoy trying to twist our listeners' collective arms into making requests & while we have been able to coax a number of excellent requests out of you people, every so often, our constant baiting also seems to backfire on us. Truth be told, simple probability would suggest that this would be the case, in which not all of our listeners are going to motivated to dial a phone & request something like, say, Oneida as opposed to Sevendust. That is, if they're even motivated to dial the phone at all, which seems to be the larger issue. In the interest of trying to raise the bar a little, here's a quick guide to making a good request & keeping those cynical jerks hanging out in the radio station basement (read: us) happy.

Rule Number One: This one should be exceedingly obvious, but apparently not everyone got the message. A song with alot of naughty words? Not a good request, folks. Before you call & ask to hear, say, "Fuck The Pain Away" by Peaches, ask yourself if we're really going to be able to play a song that, nevermind the oft-repeated title, incluces the lyrics "Sucking on my titties like you wanted me". Yeah, no dice. The FCC would be on our ass fast enough to make your head spin.
Rule Number Two: This might seem to be in contradiction to Rule Number One, but songs and/or band names that are fun to say on the air generally make for good requests (provided that the songs and/or bands aren't terrible). For example, Pissed Jeans & Solar Anus are just dirty enough to say without invoking the wrath of the fascists over at the FCC (actually, "Pissed Jeans" might technically be a violation, but I'm willing to overlook that one).
Rule Number Three: No Grateful Dead, ever. This also goes for any band whose sticker you would find on your typical UMass student's car. If you've actually been listening to our show as we start guilting people into calling, you should have a general idea of what we like musically. Try to stick somewhere in those parameters.
Rule Number Four: In general, obscure garage rock & post-punk = good (assuming that it's something that we actually have in our library). Most of the In The Red, K Records, Kill Rock Stars, early-to-mid 80s SST Records catalogs = good. Crazy fucked-up drone/psych rock = good. Steve Albini bands = good. Other things that Steve Albini has been involved with = good, maybe (don't request something from that Bush album that he worked on). Crazy fucked up people from Texas = good (and by this, I mean Daniel Johnston, the Butthole Surfers, the Thirteenth Floor Elevators, et al). Bands that have been influenced by Can or Devo = good, generally (or you could just request Can or Devo). Old Stooges material = good. New Stooges material = very, very bad.
Rule Number Five: If you're requesting something just because Pitchfork has been shitting their pants over it, you probably shouldn't bother. If you're requesting something that Pitchfork has been shitting their pants over because it's justifiably awesome (see: Liars, Black Lips), that's kosher.
Rule Number Six: Don't think that you're so fucking clever for coming up with the idea to request "Expressway to Yr Skull" by Sonic Youth, because we're never going to play that. Never.

That's what I have so far. Depending on whether or not you folks step up to the plate & come through for us, this might have to been expanded later. I want to start getting some calls this Monday with some top-notch requests, or else Eric might decide to hijack the show & play the Flaming Lips' cover of Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" non-stop (again).